As luck would have it.  The day I received the call I had been anxiously awaiting for 8 years regarding the demise of my job, I also happened to notice a Facebook post about a possible interesting job opening.  

Go Figure

The job post was put up by an acquaintance who had started working with a venture backed startup company a year prior.  From what I knew about the position and the company I would be a great fit and actually pretty interested.  After a quick phone call, I applied immediately despite not really wanting a job.  I guess I could call this employment addiction.

 

I didn’t really think a whole lot of it.  Mostly, I was just amused by the spontaneity of life and how opportunities serendipitously appear when the time is right.

 

I was coming to terms with the loss, or should I say, shift of certainty of a job that had paid well over six figures, reliably for almost a decade, to a position of uncertainty and speculation.

 

Fortunately, my wantrepreneur ways had not been entirely fruitless.  I may have dabbled, not committed, started and stopped and spun my wheels for many years prior.  But, I had managed to at least get a small fledgling e-commerce business off the ground.  We could at least, with a little bit of luck and a lot of Ramen, make our bills.

 

As a husband and a father, I did feel that it was in the best interest of my family to keep as many doors open as possible.  The job application had been submitted and it couldn’t hurt.  In reality, it totally shifted my focus from, “let’s take this fucking e-commerce thing to the next level.” To, “that might actually be a good career.”

 

A head clearing aimless walk had taken me through the gated estate section of our neighborhood, where the houses were easily pushing 10 million dollars.  My thoughts drifted as I wandered but I couldn’t help but think, there was probably not a single employee among the owners of those sprawling estates on the lake.

 

The truth and the path are often painfully obvious but incredibly difficult to follow.

 

We get consumed by fear, doubt, and a whole host of other psychological maladies.  People in general, are simply terrible decision makers when emotions are a factor.  As hard as we try to make rational decisions unhindered by our feelings, we don’t.

Back to the job thing.  I was a little surprised to receive an interview invitation several weeks later.  It had been so long since I had applied I just kind of figured my resume had been total crap, I didn’t really do a whole lot to it before sending it off and it hadn’t been carefully updated in years.

 

Having been with the same company for years I hadn’t experienced a job interview in over a decade.  Despite that, I felt I did pretty well.  It helped that I didn’t really feel like I had much to lose and  wasn’t even sure I would take the job if offered.  The salary range was well below what I had become accustom to.  All in all the interview was actually kind of a fun experience and good exercise.

 

rejectedI was a little amused to open the recruiter’s rejection letter.  It kind of felt like an ugly blind date had decided I was too tall.  I was more miffed that I hadn’t had the opportunity to turn them down myself but also a little grateful that my path had been chosen for me.  As I mentioned I am fantastically bad at making emotional decisions.  I also seem to have an addiction to a steady paycheck despite the many downsides of being an employee.

 

I am well aware from careful analysis that the entrepreneurial path is far more profitable and has a much better ROI.  At this point, a big payout from entrepreneurship is really the only way my family will be able to retain our quality of life in our golden years.  Having been forced to cash in retirement accounts when I was younger I fall squarely in the category of, “not having saved enough.”  Compound interest is not my friend.

 

So, all in all, like the promotion that I accepted against my better judgment several years ago.  The potential job, despite all its possible upsides, is not in the cards.  And, having realized that I am not all that disappointed.    

 

At the end of the day, I wanted the validation of a job offer, not the actual job. The danger lies in the ego boost from getting such an offer.  Someone, much wiser than me, used to commonly advise me to, “be careful what you wish for.”