I have heard it for years but never really appreciated exactly how it happened or seen it unfold. What is it you ask??… The act of sabotage, more specifically how we sabotage ourselves when we find ourselves in situations that we do not like. This most commonly occurs with people’s jobs but can also happen in relationships or other situations that require commitment.

I did it with my job. I didn’t even know I was doing it until one day I woke up and realized that I was being asked in a very kind way to step down. I had it easy, out of the deal I got a raise, less stress and more time off. Many people simply get fired, I got a second chance.

As I look at things in hindsight I can see were things went bad and at what point I started to actively sabotage. I knew all along what my job was and despite my job description and duties being a little hazy and unclear I knew what I needed to do to keep my job. I even knew what I needed to do progress and possibly get promoted again. It is really pretty simple…. I needed to make money. The importance of all other duties play second fiddle to production. If you are making money and the margins are good many things are forgivable. If you are loosing money but doing a good job focusing on the other details you might as well pack your bags.

The funny part about sabotage is that I didn’t even realize I was doing it until the damage was already done. I am sure it is similar for many others. Despite being actively told what I needed to do to keep my job I still persisted in doing the exact opposite. For this I am grateful. Our subconscious is much wiser than we give it credit for and will actively find a way to satisfy our desire for pleasure and avoid pain.

Our judgment is often compromised by our feelings, our commitments, and by what we think we want. It is interesting and enlightening to be a victim of my own subconscious. Yet I still find myself a little bitter and disappointed the the job I disliked so much didn’t workout. Strange creatures we are.

How does this apply to entrepreneurship? I haven’t really figured that out yet because most entrepreneurs are obviously not taking the easy way out. But in the more basic sense in my situation my subconscious appears to be pushing me in the direction of entrepreneurship. It seems to be reward seeking.

The main lesson to be learned from this situation is that getting in touch with how and why you are doing what you are doing is important. Making decisions based on those findings and failing faster are highly important. These decisions can very well be difficult and painful but in the end will lead to a more actualized you.